Arthur (the Sasquatch)
Arthur is a Sasquatch who speaks perfect English without any accent, and is dignified, gentle, and articulate. Arthur is largely unfamiliar with human culture, however. He is completely sincere, and utterly devoid of any deception, guile, irony, sarcasm, or any type of “hip” attitude. Arthur does sing– but usually in a straightforward fashion (he is NOT rockin’, cool, hip, etc.). In fact, he is probably the most rational character in the entire show (except when he accidentally swallows a bug), even though many initially perceive him to be a wild beast.

Bert (the Camper)
Male - 30-45
Although Bert exhibits many characteristics of a backwoods bumpkin in terms of clothing, grammar and mannerisms, he is a simple, honest man with a heart of gold.

Zeke (the Bar Owner)
Male - 30-45
He owns the local bar, dresses very casually (down vest and baseball hat?), and is a clever fellow with ambitions to make his bar and motel more successful– although he has never been able to translate his cunning into a profitable formula. He is also wily and observant, and very attracted to his wife, Thelma.

Thelma (the Cocktail Waitress)
Female - 30-45
married to Zeke– but is starting to see the limitations in being married to a bar owner in the rural backwoods of the Pacific Northwest. She has a fading red-state sex appeal– but she and Zeke still obviously harbor strong romantic feelings for each other.

Sam (the Boy) - 10
Sam is a ten-year-old boy with two over-protective parents. Sam is relatively quiet and respectful, but at the same time yearns to take more control over his own life and seek some adventure. He is also very sincere, and devoid of “attitude.”

Jim (the Dad)
Male - 30-40
Sam’s father. Jim enjoys portraying the engaged father figure and is often involved in making decisions for Sam– yet at the same time he is often disengaged and usually fails to see Sam’s need to be more independent. Jim is also closely tied to his smart phone, which he carries with him at all times.

Cindy (the Mom)
Female - 30-40
Sam’s mother. Cindy is over-protective, and also enjoys portraying herself as the ideal mother. She is even more involved in controlling Sam than Jim is– and she is constantly researching how to be a better mother (and lecturing anyone who will listen on the subject as well). Like Jim, she fails to see that Sam needs to exert his independence more. Together, Jim and Cindy represent the quintessential “helicopter parents”– as evidenced in their song.

Pat (the Park Ranger)
Male - 30-40
Pat has worked as a park ranger in Columbia National Park for the past six years. Pat is unmarried and has no children. Pat– as demonstrated by the park ranger song– is very oriented towards nature, the protection of animal species, environmentalism, multiculturalism, etc. Even so, she usually spends most of her time telling park tourists about nature and the beauty of Columbia National Park without experiencing much of it herself, until…

Chaz (the TV Host)
Male - 25-35
He has a stylish haircut, and his clothing and looks suggest a media personality (which he is). Chaz may (or may not) also sport a British or Australian accent (which may or may not be authentic). Chaz is slick, ambitious, energetic, and often bossy and condescending. Chaz is currently on TV– but would like to be a much bigger star than he already is.

Dakota (the Other TV Host)
Female - 25-35
She also sports a stylish haircut– along with attractive clothing and looks which suggest that she is a media star as well. Dakota knows her media craft well and is good in front of a camera, but often defers to Chaz. Like Chaz, she seeks to promote herself and become a bigger TV star. Chaz and Dakota often work together, matching each other’s level of energy and presenting themselves as co-hosts– even when the camera is not capturing their actions.

Steve (the Cameraman)
Male - 25-40
He sports long hair, wears very casual clothes, and practices questionable grooming habits. Steve is a slob, but is good at using the camera and provides a nonchalant counterbalance to Chaz and Dakota. Unlike Chaz or Dakota (who are very smooth at talking and presenting themselves), Steve is more laconic and ironic in his speech, and often understated in his reactions– unless his camera is threatened by danger.

Chris (the Seismologist)
Male - 30-40
wears a plaid shirt and a knit hat (suggesting a connection to the environment and the Pacific Northwest). Chris has worked outside alone in the park collecting seismic data for many years, and as a result is somewhat socially awkward. Chris is also somewhat nerdy (wears glasses?) but is very dedicated to the seismological profession and has a genuine appreciation for science, nature and the outdoors.

Chorus Members
Various parents, tourists, and park rangers, etc.